I opened my eyes in the dark

I opened my eyes in the dark this morning, wondering what it was God wanted to tell me. I sat up, turned on the lamp, and listened, aching to slide down my pillow back into the shadowy place from which I came. In the dark it seems like some great sacrifice and I'm angry that so much is asked of me and I want to slide and I don't want to listen to the voice that speaks me into being and I slide.