Eat Your Heart out PSU

January 21, 2007

I am going to try to be less morbid in my writing. Today was the first day of school. It is decidedly true that beauty wins over evil and fear any day, and the beauty here in St. Petersburg outshines the darkness by a blinding long shot. I wish you could all walk toward the Smolny Campus with me. Its unreal. The outside is a brilliant turquoise blue Baroque building that goes on and on in a horseshoe shape with a huge cathedral in the center. It was one of the few cathedrals not torn down in the Soviet years. They graciously kept it as an “architectural monument”. Catherine the Great had it built as a women’s etiquette school. It turned out to be far too cold for everyone because the walls absorbed temperature, so it then became a convent. Poor nuns. The inside is equally timeless and romantic with endless hallways, arches, floral iron staircases with wooden steps, and huge arched windows. I want to wear a ball-gown and white gloves and glide down the stairs and through the hallways. I feel this may be the rebirth of drawing for me. I see so many things I need to really, really look at. I think I am going to take a drawing class outside of school to meet people (or should I say stare at people blankly while they talk and then not know how to respond) and to get back in the groove.

I met a sweet little boy in the hallway of my apartment building today. We got in the dingy 3-foot by 3-foot elevator together with his dog and he asked me what floor to press. I froze and forgot how to say four so I just pressed it myself. He was the first person to spontaneously smile at me since I’ve been in Russia. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that. I miss kids and giggling. I miss my girls and my nephews. People don’t smile here. I wish I had pet his dog and asked his name. I hope I see him again.