Belfast

I have just done something rash and perhaps irresponsible. Traveling takes a toll, it does. Arriving in Dublin after three weeks of traveling, I was feeling slightly fragile. I just needed a phone number from my e-mail. I tried to buy a wifi card but the machine didn't work, the store only carried 10 pound cards, and I just couldn't spend that much, and my computer was dead, and I couldn't find an outlet anyway. After waiting in a long line for a computer, I realized I didn't have the right currency, went and got money, went to three different stores to get change where they told me that they could not open their drawers, stood in another long currency exchange line, had to get out of line and find a corner in which to sob uncontrollably for a solid half hour, got back in line, got change, got on the computer, and bought a ticket home for May 30th. I don't regret it. Just before buying the ticket I got an e-mail from my sister-in-law with pictures of my nephews and there was simply no way around it. If I didn't squeeze their little bodies with in 4 days I would simply combust. So really I had no choice. I also go the phone number, and after numerous failed attempts at using the payphone from Dublin, I just hopped on a bus to Belfast and hoped for the best. After arriving in Belfast, I called Phil, he answered, picked me up from the bus station in a car, made me tea, bought me fish and chips, and gave me my very own room with a big huge cushy bed where I had the best nights sleep I've had in months. I am at this very moment sitting on a couch. And this is going to sound utterly ridiculous, but here, on May 25th was the first time I had curled up on a couch in five months. There was no couch at my host family's apartment and I was only ever sitting at a desk or table or bed. I knew there was something really elementally essential missing from my life all this time, but I dind't realize was it was until sitting here with Phil and Neil watching friends. It's like sitting in a giant lap. I can't get enough. I could cry again out of pure relief, but I will restrain myself. They have both been unbelievably lovley to me and last night Neil was kind enought to let me join his sister's birthday festivities, and with the aid of a few glasses of wine, I danced all the tension straight out of my bones with a bunch of perfect strangers until collapsing into bed after 3a.m. all sweaty and exhausted. I don't really have plans to leave this couch today. (Dancing makes me miss you Amy.)