Fortunate in Every Way

February 6, 2007

So I guess I have a job. When I first arrived my host mother told me, not asked, that I would be tutoring a businessman and getting paid for it. Um, ok. I got a call today from this businessman’s English teacher. She spoke the funniest English I have ever heard. I had no idea how to respond to anything she said without sounding vulgar. She sounded like a robot. She was grammatically perfect and completely formal and somehow made no sense. She was telling me that this guy is 33, quite tall, and manly. Yes, she said this. But she told me not to be afraid because he is very nice and there is nothing “unfortunate” about him, he is “fortunate in every way”. Then she said that she knows American girls are very forward and aren’t afraid of anything, to which I disagreed. Somewhere in the conversation she definitely said that he would only practice English with young ladies. He is apparently extremely rich and will be taking me to the finest restaurants and clubs of St. Petersburg where we “shall talk about the topic of my choosing”. He is very polite, but apparently has terrible grammar. I should be very strict in correcting him, but careful because he can be easily offended. My life is insane. I bet he’s in the mafia. If I start wearing fur and gold stiletto knee high boots, please come rescue me.